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Daily Deviation
Literature Text
Darling,
I thought I saw you on the evening train today. Your hair was flowing, red and fiery like it normally was. Except it had a different shine to it this time like you had moved on – like you weren’t looking back…except you did look over your shoulder – a glance – to adjust the strap that was slipping off. It… wasn’t you, though. The smile cascaded to a frown and I turned to look at someone else’s stranger.
Baby,
I considered burning the rest of your clothes your mother didn’t ask for (I couldn’t bring myself to do it). I sat in the vintage yellow seats of our kitchen instead, drinking strawberry tea out of your chipped green cocoa mug and staring at the starfish above the window in place of your mother. I considered shattering the cup, since she didn't ask for it either. I couldn't bring myself to do it. She didn’t know what she was doing. if she had, she would’ve taken all of you from me. I know she couldn’t have known.
Bird,
Margaret called me afterwards; not hours, but a couple of silent weeks. It made me smile in the dark morning of the kitchen. She said, “April, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Why was she sorry? What did you do? I didn’t ask. I thought it’d be better to leave that to you. Hearing her voice was almost like feeling your arms around me again. My lips smiled but I don’t think my heart did.
Cece,
I woke up yearning to kiss the peach from your mouth. After all this time it’s still difficult to open my eyes and face the day, but this morning seemed impossible. The sheets weighted themselves down on my chest like snow on a roof, silent and troublesome. The warmth was a false sense of security for the emptiness of your side of the bed. Harsh sun greeted my eyes that sought shade in the early hour and our black kitten who is no longer a baby still sleeps curled on your pillow, leaving space for your head next to his, waiting for you too.
Celia,
Have you seen The Virgin Suicides? Listened to Death Cab for Cutie? You adored films and stated that music was your life. But was it?
“What lingered after you was not life, but the most mundane, trivial list of facts. A ticking clock on the wall, a room dim at the start of the evening, the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself.”
And
“And the soles of your shoes are all worn down the time for sleep is now; it’s nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms.”
You weren’t the base of undivided attention from prepubescent high school boys. You weren’t some estranged, beautiful, yet vague character in a song. You were vibrant, tenacious, confident and stubborn and imperfect and I loved you for that. Except… except you gave portions of yourself to me that I didn’t ask for but needed and they sneak up when I’m having conversations and it annoys the hell out of me.
Dear Cecelia,
I have been instructed to tell you my final words and thoughts. However that is not what I have been doing so far. Although, what I’ve accomplished without you is staggering, and I know you already know but lists are supposed to help:
• Washed and hung the sheets to dry
• Bought my cat a new collar
• Repainted the kitchen chairs
• Started smiling at strangers
• Gave your clothes to Goodwill
• Invested in a twin mattress
• Called your mom
• … And shoveled the snow from the roof
With Love,
April
(P.S: I’ve finally been able to look at the bridge on my way to work. Today its friends were clouds instead of you. I don’t know when it will be that I’ll be able to drive on it again, but maybe soon.)
I thought I saw you on the evening train today. Your hair was flowing, red and fiery like it normally was. Except it had a different shine to it this time like you had moved on – like you weren’t looking back…except you did look over your shoulder – a glance – to adjust the strap that was slipping off. It… wasn’t you, though. The smile cascaded to a frown and I turned to look at someone else’s stranger.
Baby,
I considered burning the rest of your clothes your mother didn’t ask for (I couldn’t bring myself to do it). I sat in the vintage yellow seats of our kitchen instead, drinking strawberry tea out of your chipped green cocoa mug and staring at the starfish above the window in place of your mother. I considered shattering the cup, since she didn't ask for it either. I couldn't bring myself to do it. She didn’t know what she was doing. if she had, she would’ve taken all of you from me. I know she couldn’t have known.
Bird,
Margaret called me afterwards; not hours, but a couple of silent weeks. It made me smile in the dark morning of the kitchen. She said, “April, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Why was she sorry? What did you do? I didn’t ask. I thought it’d be better to leave that to you. Hearing her voice was almost like feeling your arms around me again. My lips smiled but I don’t think my heart did.
Cece,
I woke up yearning to kiss the peach from your mouth. After all this time it’s still difficult to open my eyes and face the day, but this morning seemed impossible. The sheets weighted themselves down on my chest like snow on a roof, silent and troublesome. The warmth was a false sense of security for the emptiness of your side of the bed. Harsh sun greeted my eyes that sought shade in the early hour and our black kitten who is no longer a baby still sleeps curled on your pillow, leaving space for your head next to his, waiting for you too.
Celia,
Have you seen The Virgin Suicides? Listened to Death Cab for Cutie? You adored films and stated that music was your life. But was it?
“What lingered after you was not life, but the most mundane, trivial list of facts. A ticking clock on the wall, a room dim at the start of the evening, the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself.”
And
“And the soles of your shoes are all worn down the time for sleep is now; it’s nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms.”
You weren’t the base of undivided attention from prepubescent high school boys. You weren’t some estranged, beautiful, yet vague character in a song. You were vibrant, tenacious, confident and stubborn and imperfect and I loved you for that. Except… except you gave portions of yourself to me that I didn’t ask for but needed and they sneak up when I’m having conversations and it annoys the hell out of me.
Dear Cecelia,
I have been instructed to tell you my final words and thoughts. However that is not what I have been doing so far. Although, what I’ve accomplished without you is staggering, and I know you already know but lists are supposed to help:
• Washed and hung the sheets to dry
• Bought my cat a new collar
• Repainted the kitchen chairs
• Started smiling at strangers
• Gave your clothes to Goodwill
• Invested in a twin mattress
• Called your mom
• … And shoveled the snow from the roof
With Love,
April
(P.S: I’ve finally been able to look at the bridge on my way to work. Today its friends were clouds instead of you. I don’t know when it will be that I’ll be able to drive on it again, but maybe soon.)
Literature
KATRINA
LIVES A MILE
from the sea.
she is sallow as a beach.
she smells like rain,
or a wet earth,
with pale hair clipped
behind her head
with pins.
she feels as though her hair
would be black. but it is
brown, sometimes
and sometimes
it is colorless
blonde.
KATRINA
GIVES MY STOMACH
a fight.
she doesn't speak.
she is silence.
i speak at her, mostly
and her eyes
look as though
they've been plucked
from a lynx
to replace
her own.
they are blue around the edges
the deep blue you find
at the edge of the sea,
if you've been out that far.
at the center they are green
light like a riptide.
they tug you in.
unmoving, and calculating
with audacity.
KATR
Literature
i don't think im alive enough to die yet.
we used to play russian roulette on dingy street corners,
cigarettes hanging from soot-blackened lips
and morphine running rampant through our drugged up systems.
i remember how i was always shot.
you ran away when i didn't die
and left me to bleed out
onto the cold concrete.
but you don't understand-
dolls and wallflowers are empty inside,
and hearts constructed hastily with broken matchsticks
don't beat true. it's just dull thumping
in a hollow chest cavity.
(and even the best dentists can't fill this one up.)
Literature
Lullaby Bye
Twinkle twinkle falling star
Oh, I wonder if you are
He who called with steady voice
Offering me one simple choice
Shall I stay or better leave?
Contemplatively I breathe
Now to bed I close my eyes
Think of you across the skies
I forgive you, now you know
My chosen path is that I go
One breath. Two breath. Three breath. Four
Eternal sleep, forevermore
Twinkle twinkle trusted friend
Take me there, to where it ends
Shining down your soft, white light
It calms me now and dulls my fright
Down below in bed I lie
With comforted heart I say goodbye
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This is an epistolary for Creative Writing.
+ Wow!! A Daily Deviation. I never thought I would see one of these in my deviantart career. Shows how much I've improved as a writer and I'm quite fond of all of the lovely comments and favourites. I will respond to each and everyone if I can.
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Comments62
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Honestly, I didn't really like the way you used the punctuation for the start. The hyphens and ellipses seemed a bit disruptive of the flow, but after you stopped using them, the build up was wonderful. You showed so much depth to the character in such a short piece and the words and phrasings that you chose were engagingly realistic yet simplistically beautiful. I felt... pained? I could feel her pain from from the start and it only grew stronger as I was pulled into her world and I could see all the moments when she would have cried, and ending with the kind of relief that comes with finally being able to move on after having lost someone. All in all, I really liked it and look forward to seeing what else you'll come up with in the future.